


Goblin Market

by Frin



Series: I Remember... [2]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-08
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-20 10:32:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2425466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frin/pseuds/Frin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Prequel to I Remember Everything... What happened to Rose that made her so bitter and angry before the void took her memories?</p><p> <i>Did you miss me? Come and kiss me,</i><br/><i>Never mind my bruises. Hug me, kiss me,</i><br/><i>Suck my juices. Squeez'd from goblin fruits</i><br/><i>For you. Goblin pulp and goblin dew.</i><br/><i>Eat me, drink me, love me... Christina Rosetti</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"You know it; I am the only one who can!”

“I said no! We can send Mickey, he has some knowledge, you can’t, you're needed here, your mother…”

“Don’t you give me that! I had no choice about coming here! The whole time I have, I’ve done nothing but search for a way back to my world, back to him! My mother shouldn’t be the deciding factor here! I _am_ the best operative for the job and you have no choice… I demand that I go! You’re not in charge here, Pete! In fact, I would even go to say that your judgement is completely biased! Ask everyone, I'm the person to send!”

“Biased, am I? Why is it that you think you’re better than Mickey for the job, exactly?”

“Because I have more experience, because I know him better… come on, Pete… ask Mickey, he wouldn’t want to, but he would tell you to send me…as for Mum… I’ll talk to her. I just don’t think this decision should be yours alone!”

“It isn’t just your mother that‘s afraid of losing you, Rose.” His voice was so low, that it made Rose startle and look to him intently.

“You know I’m right?” she let the words out on a breath, seeing that he knew he had no choice. After a long pause, he spoke with the resignation that had been following him about since the tiny bird had returned to them and flown from the lights of the mirrors.

“Please, Rose, just don’t speak to Jackie about it, I’ll tell her, yeah?”

“Whatever, Pete, top secret, shouldn’t be discussing it with family anyway. When do I go?”

“One short trial journey to start, Rose, just to see what effects it has on the human body. Wherever you end up, you must send us the signal for return immediately, okay?”

“What if we find him first time?”

“We need to know you’re safe, Rose!”

“I have walked on other worlds before, Pete, I 'll be fine, you have to let me do this my way. If the walls of reality are merging in on one another, this world and the parallel aren’t going to be the only ones, don’t you see? All worlds, all universes are at risk and I could end up anywhere! This is my mission! Look, I’ll take a radio with me, maybe I can send signal to say that I’m okay?” Pete said nothing for a moment and then slowly, he nodded. Rose smiled for the first time in weeks and stood up.

“When?” Was her only word, but the undeniable anticipation was clearly evident in her tone.

“Now… we have little time left, the Darkness is beginning to take effect.” Rose left the room at such speed, you could almost describe it as a run.

************************

Three months later.

“Do you understand why I asked you here, Doctor?”

“Well, I could hazard a guess.”

“Really? I’m not so sure… the truth is… we’re worried about Rose.”

“No surprises there, then.”

“You don’t understand… she isn’t quite herself.”

“Oh, I think I might be overly-qualified in that department, Pete.”

“But she’s been behaving so… well, her behaviour is erratic and odd.”

“I think we’ve all been through a great deal…she’s tired and angry, it’s understandable, given the circumstances.”

“No, you aren’t getting me… she’s always been a little… you know… since I first met her. Like she knows far more than she’s letting on. Unhappy and resigned. She was broken, completely, you weren’t coming for her and she was a mess. But, she’s her mother’s daughter. Strong.”

“Yep, that’s one word for it!”

“She wasn’t going to sit around and let life pass her by. She worked hard, made friends. At one point we even thought she was going to make a go of it with Mickey!”

“Oh, really?”

“No, that was wishful thinking, he’s a good man and it was quite obvious what he felt for her.” The Doctor absorbed this and smiled gently.

“Yes, well, I don’t see what this has to do with…”

“When the stars started going out, the Dimension Cannon began to work. We had no choice, the universes were at stake. Rose assumed, I wasn’t happy, but she was right and everyone backed her. She has more experience here than anyone. Dimension hopping, space travel and… you. She became our agent, our man in Havana. We set her off to find you countless times. Each time she returned she said little of her experiences. She ate, she rested and went again. Each time she came back, she seemed even less like the Rose I’ve grown to know. Jackie's been beside herself.”

“Well, that’s not a difficult thing to achieve, is it, Pete? What are you actually getting at?”

“In this job I’ve experienced all manner of different reactions to trauma. Rose has never shown sign of breaking or stressing about any of it. She was gone for days at a time sometimes. She came back bleeding, bruised, filthy, wearing different clothes… once, she came back naked!”

“Right… and… she’s never talked about her experiences… not even to Jackie?”

“Nope, she completely blanks us off. She rarely sleeps and when she does she has the most horrendous nightmares. She refuses help of any kind. We've been at our wits end!”

“I see… and what would you like me to actually do about this?”

“Help her, Doctor, all through this, you’ve been her goal. You’re here now! We’ve been hoping that you will be able to help.”

“Rose is her own person, if she wants help, I’m there, but I can’t just bully her into it… she has to want my help!”

“Her state of mind might not recognise that she needs it. Promise me that you'll keep an eye on her? Any sign of deterioration in her mental state and you could intervene?”

“Pete, it’s my intention to keep my eyes firmly on her for a long, long time…if she wants. I’m sure she’ll be fine!”

“Well, let me know if you have any problems, we do have excellent… facilities here.” There was a long and almost awkward pause. “I’ll get her up here.” He leaned forward and buzzed his secretary. “Esther… can you page Rose up, please? Thanks.”

“I could probably manage to find her myself, you know?”

“Yes, but until you give me a decision about my offer I don’t want you wandering about here unaccompanied.”

**********

“What did he want?” she asked briskly as they made their way out of the building and headed to her flat across town.

“Worried about you. I sort of agree with him. You look tired.”

“Jesus! We have all had a hellish few months and travelling back from Norway in that weather wasn’t exactly restful… I could sleep for a week!”

“Calm down… he’s, well he’s your father…. he’s entitled to worry about you!”

“Only had that position since I got stuck here!” He stopped still and stood on the pavement staring at her intently. She slowly turned to him glaring angrily.

“Are you still?”

“Still what?”

“Stuck here?”

“Don’t be ridiculous!”

“Seriously, Rose!”

“I’m worn out… I need a long bath. Let’s not go into this now…I’ll only say something we might regret. We will talk, but let’s get used to each other okay?”

“Fine, look, wouldn’t it be better if I didn’t come home with you? I mean you obviously need space… I can go home with Pete?”

“Now you really are being ridiculous! You’d rather endure another evening with my mother than with me?”

“I didn’t say that!”

“No? Look, let’s just go home, okay?” She took his hand and smiled faintly. He paused for a moment and then began to walk with her again.

The rain started suddenly and they were wet in moments. They sheltered under a shop awning.

“Atmospheric disturbances… we’ll get a lot of this for the next few days. How far is home?”

“Not far, just around the corner!”

“Well, we’re wet anyway… we could just make a break for it?”

“You mean?” She came as close to a grin when she said this as she had since they had been left on the beach.

“I certainly do!” he smiled and they ran together hand in hand in the pouring rain, getting completely soaked.


	2. Chapter 2

_Three days before._

“He’s gone?”

“Yeah…I’m…”

“Don’t you dare, don’t you dare say you’re sorry!” She turned to him, snatching her hand from his, leaving his feeling bereft and empty.

“Okay, I won’t. I was actually going to say that I’m here… whatever he decided…I want to be here.”

“You? And what exactly are you? Oh, my God, did he plan this? Did he make a copy to fob me off with? All he had to do was say… I wouldn’t have hung around where I wasn’t wanted!”

“Rose, it wasn’t planned, not any of it! Caan saw it, manoeuvered it even, but didn’t plan it. This is destiny!”

“Ha! So, you and I, we’re supposed to just walk off into the horizon? Happily ever after?” She sneered sarcastically. 

He raised a single eyebrow and turned out to sea. “Well… if the horizon is what you want… the question would actually be which horizon? I mean, that way it would be very wet, however, that way looks more promising, even if your mother is blocking the view!”

“Oi! Bloody cheek! Only been here five minutes and…” Jackie’s squeak was soon interrupted.

“Two minutes, forty five seconds and… oops, sorry, Jackie, couldn’t resist!” His face broke into that grin that was almost disarming. Rose let out a loud sigh that could almost have been a groan and stormed past him, heading for the road without a backward glance.

It was Jackie who took the cuff of his blue jacket and led him into a much slower walk behind her angry daughter.

“Don’t mind her, she’s exhausted, emotional! I’m very glad you’re here… would have worried me, what he might have done to you!”

“Um... thank you?” he faltered, really unsure how to react to this side of Jackie.

“Can’t be easy, not at all. Rose should think about it… if she feels left behind, what must you be feeling? No TARDIS, even! You poor man!”

“Ah, yes, but there’s the thing, Jackie Tyler, I have opportunity, I have possibilities!” 

Jackie smiled at him and nodded gently. “Positive thinking, how refreshing!” she said softly.

 

_Three days later_

She let him into her flat, the silence between them was awkward again and he was so tired by now, that he had given up trying to compensate them both. He got the feeling that she was relieved by this and decided that his constant chattering might not be the best way to win over this new and angry Rose he was left with. 

They peeled off wet jackets and he turned to her shivering. 

“I have nothing for you to change into...” she said, the shock that he was so obviously feeling the cold clearly surprising her. 

“I’ll be fine.” Rose left him standing on the small landing and disappeared through a door. He hesitated for a while and then followed her cautiously. 

The bedroom was dark and a little scruffy. It had the smell of hardly being used to it, a sort of dusty and almost old odour. She was rummaging through some drawers and didn’t even look up when he pushed through the door. 

“I can fix you up with a baggy t-shirt and some trackers. If you’re cold you can use my dressing gown.” She stood up and handed him the articles inclining her head towards the door which had a pink fluffy dressing gown hanging upon it. He raised his eyebrows and the flicker of a smile turned her mouth again. “I won’t tell if you don’t,” she muttered and handed him a large white bath sheet. 

He pulled the towel around him, teeth chattering by now and the shock of this alone clearly evident in both their faces. 

“Get undressed and dry, I’ll be out here.” She took her own pile of dry clothes and left the room closing the door firmly behind her. 

He stood shivering for a few moments, suddenly feeling more alone than he had ever felt before. Then he quickly undressed and pulled the huge towel around him again. He rubbed vigorously to get himself warmed and pulled on the now not so baggy t-shirt and track suit bottoms. He was still shivering and pulled on the pink fluffy dressing gown, tying it around himself. It came to his knees and to just below his elbows, but it was warm. 

He left the unfriendly room and went into the main living area. It was a sparsely furnished place, just as unfriendly as the bedroom. He wondered if Rose actually spent any time here at all. She wasn’t about, but he could hear water coming from behind another door and assumed that she was taking a shower. He sat down and waited for her. 

Rose pulled off her wet t-shirt and black trousers. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her mascara had run and her hair hung in wet straggly tendrils. She removed her underwear and stepped into the shower cubicle letting the hot water pelt down on her tired and hugely disappointed body. Tears threatened, but they didn’t come anymore. She was an emotional shell. The circumstances surrounding this complicated life she led had taken their toll. 

Her mind wandered to the Time Lord who had turned his back on her and to the man in the next room who had been gifted to her. The consolation prize. A hard anger swept through her. How dare they just assume that this would be an adequate solution for this conundrum? 

Her mind went even further back. Back to the day that she took her first jump from the cannon. Frightened and excited, standing in the circle of mirrors... 

_Three months earlier._

“Comfortable, Rose?” Pete’s face was etched with concern and anxiety. Too afraid to speak, she nodded and put her thumbs up. 

“Remember, a quick jump. You have to come back instantly, we need to know that it's working.” Again, she nodded, but they both knew that she had her own itinerary and would only be back when she was ready. 

Pete had a word with the operatives. Moira and Hardy were nervous to say the least and Mickey stood solemn in the background. He was without words, the acceptance had hit home hours before as the city was in near darkness. He knew. 

The lights were blinding as the machine was started and Rose squinted as she saw the outline of her new father and her old boyfriend fade away. 

The next moment she was standing on a dark street on a foggy night. She took a few deep breaths and looked about her. There was nothing exactly familiar about it, could have been anywhere and anytime. 

She began to walk, aware that her legs felt like jelly and her breaths were coming in short bursts. 

It must have been very late, there were no cars, no people, not a soul about to break the silence. 

As she rounded a corner, she stopped dead still letting out a gasp. The blue box stood proud and tall in the alleyway as if it belonged there. 

Her key was warm against her as she took tentative steps towards it. Could she have hit the target first time? Was the universe really going to reward her that easily?

“Hey!” a voice called out to her and she turned quickly towards it. 

Rose turned, her face a picture of bewilderment. The girl can’t have been much more than eighteen and the dark beehive and short skirt told Rose what she had sort of expected, she was in the past. Judging by the way the girl was looking at her, she came to the conclusion that the girl was also making calculations about her own attire. 

“Can I help?” she asked. Her face was concerned... wise. 

“I’m looking for somebody.” Her voice sounded strange, as if it didn’t belong. 

“You know you shouldn’t really do this? Is it very important? Oh, I suppose it must be!” 

“I’m looking for the Doctor.” 

“Well, that would be obvious, really, the question would be, which one?” 

“Sorry?” 

“My grandfather is an old man, he’s seen an awful lot in his long life, but I am sure he would have mentioned a blonde from the early twenty-first century.” 

“Your grandfather? When am I, exactly?” 

“Nineteen sixty three. I’m Susan.” 

“Rose.” They nodded to one another and Rose pulled out her glowing TARDIS key. Susan observed it calmly. 

“You’ve hit the wrong timeline?” she asked matter-of-factly. 

“So it would seem. Same TARDIS.” 

“Yes, same Doctor, but not at all the same, I would hazard?” 

“No, not if you can call him Grandfather and get away with it!” 

“He _is_ my grandfather nonetheless!” 

“I don’t doubt it, I doubt nothing where he’s concerned!” Rose paused for a bit wondering what she should say next. 

“Are you in big trouble?” 

“Yes… the whole of reality is at stake. He’s the only hope we have… What should… I do?” 

“Go back, Rose, find the one you search. This could create a paradox so dangerous that even he wouldn’t be able to resolve it.” 

“Thought as much. Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome. Are you his companion, then, or is it more than that? It’s more, I can tell.” Rose’s eyes met the girl’s sadly, was this person part of his dead family? She shook her head sadly and pressed the return signal. 

“Take care!” called Susan as she began to disappear. 

“And you!” Rose called back. The next moment, she was on the floor in the circle of mirrors and her new father was on his knees beside her. 

_Three months later._

Rose sobbed as the water poured down her. Dry, strangled gasps. She didn’t hear the man in the next room standing at the door with his palm touching it, listening helplessly to her cries. 


	3. Chapter 3

_Two Months and two weeks before._

She dropped to the ground and grunted at impact. She knew that she wasn’t on Earth, It was a primitive looking planet and it felt a little timeless. The pungent smell of sulphur filled her nostrils, making her want to gag, but she forged on up a dingy stone corridor lit only by flaming torches posted into holes in the walls.

She spotted a curtain and a heavy wooden door behind it. The TARDIS had to be somewhere near, it had to be. Or else, why was she here?

She opened the door quietly and entered the room. At first it appeared to be empty and then she saw the girl, tied and bound to a table. Her eyes were open, but she seemed to see nothing. They were blank, and empty. As she grew nearer to the table, Rose let out a gasp.

The brunette started and moved her head towards the sound, still not seeing Rose.

“Who’s there? Maren? Condo? Where is he? You have to help me!”

“Sarah Jane?” Rose looked into the girl’s familiar and very much younger face. Her blank eyes stared back at her.

“Who are you?” she asked, her voice shaking.

“A friend from the future… I’ve been searching for the Doctor. Can I help?” Rose knew what her question meant, but it took Sarah-Jane a few moments to understand given her blind and panicked state.

“You must not be seen, Morbius really is here, it isn’t a figment. Solon is a madman, he will surely have you tied and ready for execution if he discovers you too. You must leave here, get back to your own timeline or hope here could be lost!” Rose paused and studied Sarah’s binds.

“I could cut you free? Surely that couldn’t affect the future too much?” Sarah Jane looked desperately towards the voice and nodded. Quickly, Rose pulled out a small knife and severed the ropes.

“Who did you say you were?” whispered Sarah Jane, rubbing her raw wrists.

“I didn’t,” she answered as she faded from that world and landed back inside the circle of mirrors.

Pete looked at her, curled painfully on the floor desperately getting her breath back. She stared at him.

“How long?” she asked him deadpan.

“Half a day.”

“I have to do more than one trip a day, Pete, at this rate I’m going to be looking for him for months. We haven’t got that much time before the Darkness completely takes over!” Pete didn’t reply, but he nodded slowly and reluctantly. Rose stood and wobbled a little. Someone handed her some tea and she swigged it gratefully. She even managed a smile.

“It dehydrates somewhat,” she commented to a team member, who diligently wrote the information down in a log book.

 

_Two Months and Two weeks later._

 

He was dozing, had never known such weariness, if the truth be told. This must be his human side needing to waste valuable time sleeping. Something he would have to adjust to. No choice there.

He wasn’t sure what disturbed him from his light slumber, maybe it was just the unexpectedness of it, but he was alarmed by the vision of Rose standing in the doorway staring at him. Her face was like a blank canvas, displaying no emotion. A hardened jaw-line and red eyes betrayed the only humanness about her. Her hair was knotted into a towel and she wore a bathrobe.

“Rose?” he asked tentatively. She jumped slightly and then he caught the look on her face. A look that wounded him badly. Hatred was burning in her big solemn eyes. Then it was gone as quickly as it appeared.

“Tired?” she asked, walking into the room. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak for fear of asking questions and getting answers. “Stands to reason, I suppose. I’ll sort out your room.”

He lay awake in that cluttered spare room which she had been using as a make-shift office. However tired he was, the worry was enough to keep him awake. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be, was it? 

In the room next door to him, Rose lay awake looking towards her ceiling too. Her thoughts were more detached. She felt dead inside. She felt like she had used very ounce of her soul to get back to where she belonged only to be thrown away again. Like an unwanted, worn out toy. Anger bubbled away deep inside her, but she was too worn out and too disappointed to recognise it.

 

_Three days earlier._

 

“If we have to share, we have to share!” she snapped.

“You can bunk in with me!” said Jackie, and Rose gave her a withering look. “I do not snore!” she exclaimed. He made no contribution to the exchange. The Tyler women usually sorted it out for themselves. He wanted to share with Rose. He didn’t want to let her out of his sight again. Ever.

He knew that this was going to be hard, that gaining her respect and her trust was going to be a challenge. But it was a challenge he wanted to take. He was prepared, at this point, to spend every moment of his life winning Rose Tyler.

She slung the dusty black jacket on the bed and headed for the en suite. He felt awkward, unable to communicate. This was alien to him. He laughed at the irony of this thought. Rose came out of the bathroom and caught the laugh and looked at him strangely. Then she sat down, removed her shoes and climbed into the double bed. She turned her back and bunched herself away from him. 

He stood for a while and then copied her, relieving himself in the bathroom and discarding the blue jacket and his red Converses.

He slipped into the bed beside her and lay there for a while listening to her breathing.

“Rose?” he whispered gently, almost afraid of her hostility.

“What?” she answered after a long pause.

“I know you’re tired and angry and disappointed, but that doesn’t mean you have to be unfriendly.” She turned around to face him, momentarily captivated by his voice.

“You want us to be friends?” 

“It’s as good a place as any to start, isn’t it? I can’t begin to understand what you’ve been through, but I will, if you want me to. There has to be a beginning at each end. That’s the law of things.” She stared at him for some time, contemplating how to react, but any serious comment was vanquished by the sound of a large hungry rumble from his entirely empty stomach.

She laughed despite herself, albeit a little hollowly, and sat up. Taking the receiver from its cradle, she put it to her ear.

“Room service?”


	4. Chapter 4

_Two Months and one and half weeks before._

 

The blue box was right in front of her, but she didn’t recognise where she was. She wasn’t even sure if it was Earth. The key burnt her hand as she took it from its home inside her shirt.

Fingers shaking, she let herself in and stood silently observing her beloved home. It was it, her TARDIS and it rumbled around her, not exactly greeting her, but not shunning her either. 

Tears ran down her face and she made no attempt to move up the ramp, too frightened to find out where and when she was.

The door opening beside her made her jump and the face that she was confronted with made her cry out. She stumbled and a pair of strong leather clad arms shot out and caught her as she fell.

“You?” she whispered into the familiar face.

“Who the hell are you? And, more importantly, how the hell did you get aboard my ship?”

“Doctor? It’s me… Rose… Rose Tyler?” she whispered. He righted her and removed his arms from her waist quickly. He looked at her hard and without the compassion she had grown used to. His eyes flickered down and caught sight of the key.

“If you know me, then you know how my life is… if I don’t know you, then you haven’t happened yet and if you know me well, then you know that this is dangerous and you shouldn’t be here!” Tears were streaming from her eyes and her hand reached out and touched his cheek of its own accord. His face softened and he took her arm, gently leading her towards the console.

“It’s you…it’s really you!” she sobbed.

“You can’t tell me anything, you know that? Even now, I know your name…Rose Tyler. And that is a dangerous place to be, you understand?” She opened her mouth and nodded dumbly, new tears falling. He nodded and smiled softly, a finger wiping at one of her tears.

“Must have got me bad, then? Understandable. So, life continues…I thought... Oh, never mind, the universes wouldn’t reward me like that,” he was almost muttering to himself and then he caught site of Rose’s face.

“When are we?” she whispered.

“We are nowhere… we haven’t happened. Look, whatever glip has happened here, we are going to have to move you along. Fact is, I only just regenerated, I’m on the point of collapse. If you know me that well, you know what this means. I need to rest and I can’t with you standing there all sad and yellow!”

“Right, you want me gone?”

“Need to get you back in your own timeline.” 

Rose nodded and smiled weakly. “Forgot how abrupt you were… right, I’ll just… go then.” 

He nodded and folded his arms, observing her with interest. His face changed as she began to disappear and she almost laughed.

“Doctor, I hear there might be a problem in London with the Nestene Consciousness… maybe you could start there?” she called out and he shook his head.

“I only have one bit of advice for you, Rose Tyler. If you bump into me again, just run. Run away, Rose Tyler, run!”

The next moment she was on the ground and weeping into her father's solid arms.

 

_Two months and one and a half weeks later._

 

“If it’s me who wears it, then surely, I get a decision about it?” he asked vehemently.

“Fine, as you please… it isn’t the same as it was… you have to blend in now!”

“I don’t have to do anything I don’t want! Remember that, Rose Tyler?”

“Fine! I didn’t want to come anyway! You asked me, I’ll just…” she stopped and left him standing in the suit that they were arguing about. He ran after her and grabbed her at the door.

“It’s such a trivial matter… clothes! I just want to wear what I’m most comfortable in… I was naturally attracted to this!”

“But don’t you see? You aren’t him… how can you even… I can’t look at you like that!”

“Fine, I’ll take it off!” He pulled at the tie and slipped off the brown material as he walked back to the changing room. He didn’t look back, but he hoped that she was following. He thought that a shopping trip might begin some kind of bonding, but she had just got more and more agitated the more he behaved like himself. She had asked him to stop talking nine to the dozen on several occasions and now the brown pin striped suit had gone down like a lead balloon.

He slipped on the blue suit, grabbed the jeans and t-shirts she had suggested and took them out. She was nowhere and the shop assistant happily took the bundle of clothes.

“Ms Tyler left her card at the till, said to let you have whatever you want. She's gone down to the basement.” He nodded. That figured. It seemed all Rose Tyler ever wanted to do was go back.

She had been crying a little when he found her. The coffee was cold in her hand and he ordered two more cups.

“Am I really being that insensitive?” he asked and her eyes focussed on him.

“No change there either,” she commented quietly.

“If you just talk about it… talk to me, Rose. You seem to be stuck in this groove and you won’t let me in!” She was looking right at him, but it was very apparent that she was hardly seeing him.

“Stuck in a groove? You have no idea!”

 

_Three days earlier._

 

“Never liked zeppelins. They just aren’t the safest way to travel!” They were stuck in their tiny little cabin as the zeppelin swayed precariously in the strong winds. Jackie had had to leave for the bathroom very suddenly. The bad weather had taken their toll with her stomach. It was the first time they had been alone since the hotel.

“I use them all the time, you get used to it.” The ship swayed and sent them into each other again.

“Almost as if the weather is trying to push us together!” he said softly as her body pressed into him, his own reacting with a humanness he was still coming to terms with. Her breath was short and she glared at his mouth as if it caused her much anguish.

The next moment they were kissing. It was desperate and almost violent. It took him completely off guard as she battled her mouth against his, pressing her body desperately into him. He put his hands on to her shoulders and pushed her back gently. She stopped as suddenly as she had started and stared hard into his face. Then she burst into tears and landed heavily on the bunk.

“I can’t! I just can’t!” she wept and he sat down beside her, taking her into his arms. This time she let him provide comfort. But he knew she was still pretending he was someone else.


	5. Chapter 5

_Present Day._

“Here, this might teach you, but somehow, I doubt it!” She landed the pile in front of him and he eyed it begrudgingly.

“I told you, it looked like a Sontaran, I did what I judged the best course of action!”

“And nearly broke the Emperor’s neck! You can’t just breeze in and breeze out like He used to… here is different! This will never be the same… can’t you understand that?”

“I understand what you’re saying, doesn’t mean that I agree! Alright, I was mistaken… the armour threw me. If it had of been Sontaran, you would have been thanking me!”

“Paperwork, John!” she moved away from his desk and started to concentrate on other matters around the office. He watched her for a while and then with an accepting sigh, he took the first sheet from the large pile and studied it. Then he fed it into the scanner and began to type.

The noise of the keyboard alerted her and she swung back around to study his fingers flying across the keys. He grinned and clicked a wink at her.

“Fastest temp in Chiswick, me, hundred words a minute!” Rose rolled her eye balls and pulled on her jacket.

“Fine! Joke about it all! You could have been killed... could have killed us all! I’m going… don’t wait up, I’m gonna see Mum and I’ll probably sleep over there… I need some space!” She moved quickly, letting the door bang behind her and leaving him completely alone.

“Space? Oh, I could use some of that right about now,” he muttered with a sigh. Then he continued to finish off the reports for the past three weeks without much interest but with much professional gusto.

 

_Two Months and three weeks before._

 

She dropped down onto the carpet in her bedroom with a thud that seemed to echo around the whole place. This was unusual in itself. There was no happy, nudging hum to welcome her, but this was definitely her room, unchanged right down to the clutter that spread over every surface and continuing on to the unmade bed.

She wondered how long it had been since anyone had been here. The dust that had gathered was no indication for her. Housekeeping had never been her forte. 

She took a deep breath and ventured into the corridors. Silent as the grave, save a dull echo coming from the end of it. She followed the noise on light, nervous feet only hesitating at the entrance to her beloved console room.

The sight that met her eyes was a shock, to say the least.

Where once had stood the console with its beautiful central column setting out a bluey-green light; had now been covered completely with what looked like chicken wire. A red light filtered through it and Rose was frightened although she couldn’t explain why.

Quite suddenly, a figure appeared from the other side of the console. He was male and wore the armour of a welder so she was at first unsure if he were the person she sought.

He stopped suddenly when he saw her and after a quick pause he pulled off the mask and faced her uncertainly.

“Is it you?” she said not moving.

“Yes, of course it’s me, who else would it be?” he smiled and she wasn’t reassured. The smile was charming, but it didn’t seem quite genuine. She could see obviously that the face wasn’t one she knew, but, all the same, this just didn’t feel right. This wasn't the reunion she had dreamed of.

“Where did you spring from, then? I mean... how?”

“Look, Doctor, I haven’t time to chat… I just need to know when we are. Have I hit the right time?”

“It’s 2007.” He just didn’t react like he knew her. Something didn’t seem right. He pulled off the welders breast plate and smiled confidently at her, giving her the once over. She squirmed.

“Blimey… you changed already?” she asked awkwardly and his eyes darkened, as if an anger lurked behind them that she couldn’t quite place.

He seemed about the same age as before although his hair was lighter and more heavily cropped. He wasn’t classically handsome, but even she, in her confused state; couldn’t deny the charisma.

“Look, sorry about this… new face and all. Trust no one, you always taught me!” She stepped forward and touched his chest with both hands, feeling for the double beats beneath the white Egyptian cotton. She stared into his face as these were confirmed and he grinned happily at her.

“It really is you.”

“Yep!” he grinned and moved a little closer to her. “Again, what’s the story morning glory?”

“We’ve got problems, Doctor, big problems. Something is attacking the universes and all it leaves in its wake is darkness!”

“Darkness? Oh, poppycock! Children’s fairytales!”

“No, it’s serious, nothing is left. We’ve lost half the stars in the galaxy and witnessed a whole parallel implode! We’re all heading that way if we don’t find out. We need your help, Doctor, that’s why I came!”

“Pretty,” he said taking a strand of her hair and twisting it through his fingers. She wasn’t sure how to react. Perhaps this was a new quirk to his personality, but she felt even more uncomfortable and surely, that wasn’t right?

“Doctor?” His face twisted and he shook his head a little, gripping her upper arms too tightly.

“You fascinate me, I think I have your number and I must say, I’m not disappointed!”

“Harry?” The doors were open and a skinny blonde surrounded by strange round flying robots entered. She took in the position they were in and her eyes narrowed. The man, who she now knew wasn’t, couldn’t be the man she sought; began to laugh.

“Lucy… just in time. I’ve just had something special arrive and I thought we could share it? What do you say? I’ve always been partial to a blonde, now I have two!” The man roared with laughter as Rose struggled against his hard fingers and Lucy remained sullen in the doorway. It was the robotic spheres that came to his side and joined his mirth. The laughter chimed around the poor TARDIS like the bells tolling the end and the only noise that met it was the echoing laughter of the child-like metallic beings that floated above their heads.

“You have to let me go! This is important… the end of everything! We need the Doctor!”

“Indeed we do and with you as bait, we just might snare ourselves a medical man! Oh yes, this day is turning out good! I am pleased today!”

“Who are you?” She asked searching his face for clues. He put his finger to his lips, releasing her arm and shook his head.

“Lucy, take this… lady... to the cells. The special cells, you know where I mean? And prepare her. I think we’ll be having some fun tonight!” Lucy said nothing, merely moved towards them and took her arm. She winched at the boney fingers digging resentfully into her arm and pulled back.

“Let me go!”

“If you fight, we will fight!” The child-like voices rang out as sharp blades unsheathed themselves and glistened menacingly at her.

The man, pouted and grinned, “oh dear, my children want to play too! Maybe later, when we’ve had our fun… think your Doctor will come now?”

The skinny blonde named Lucy led her out of the TARDIS and down the dark corridors into the depths of the Valiant.


	6. Chapter 6

_Two months and three weeks before._

 

Rose followed the skinny blonde who this strange Time Lord had called Lucy without making an effort to get away. The man was dangerous, insane probably, but they were both after the same thing, they both sought the Doctor.

Lucy kept glancing across at her as they walked, her face curious and hard.

After descending what seemed like a thousand steps Lucy stopped her at a door, took out a bunch of keys from her pocket and after three attempts with differing keys, unlocked the door and stepped inside. Rose followed and almost stepped back out as she observed the cliché of the room through the door.

It was a large, overbearing, pompous room hung with huge dark red velvet drapes. A massive four poster bed took pride of place in the centre of the room covered in black satin sheets.

Rose was scared and fascinated at the same time and Lucy looked at her, a cruel smile forming on her lips.

“Harry has a few fetishes… I concur, I have no choice. He is my Master and I have to oblige him. Now, it would seem; that isn’t enough!” Lucy almost spat the words at Rose. She pushed her roughly over to the bed and sat her down; the hand cuffs were digging into her wrists and hurting.

“I don’t need them, really, I’m not about to run anywhere and you took my transportation device!” Rose said showing her red wrists to Lucy. This seemed to excite her a little and she smiled rather unpleasantly.

“Lucky thing… my Master hasn’t cuffed me in so long… oh no, he would rather tie me, leave me hanging.” She leaned across Rose a little intimately and pulled a pair of leather straps over to them. They had buckles and were attached to the bed.

“I’m really not into this sort of thing, you know? I mean all to their own behind closed doors, but…”

“Oh, shut up! You think you have a choice?” Lucy stood up and stared hard at Rose.

“We always have a choice!” she answered softly. Lucy took off her jacket and revealed her slim, bare arms to Rose. They were covered in bruises from top to bottom and, as Rose looked more closely at Lucy, she noticed a yellow tinge to her left cheek. A fading bruise.

“He’s a monster!” Rose hissed now wondering exactly what he thought he had in store for her.

“He really is! You know nothing… this… is nothing!”

“Why would you put up with something like this?” 

“Why? Why would you put up with anything from any man? He has a hold over me, I can never leave him!”

“And you think this is love?” Lucy focused on Rose and stared down at her angrily.

“Why’d you come here? Why did you have to go and spoil it? I had him all to myself and now I will have to do things to you to please him and I don’t want to!”

“Then don’t… let me go, say I escaped. He will punish you, but isn’t that what you want?” Rose decided to try a different tactic. 

“Oh you know nothing about him and his control! My punishment wouldn’t be this…” She swept her arms dramatically about the room and turned back to Rose, her eyes blazing so brightly that Rose began to believe she was completely mad.

The door opened suddenly and the man sauntered in with a lazy grin on his face. Two of the floating robotic creatures followed him silently.

“Oh, how touching... were you having a girlie chat?” He walked about them, prowling in circles, like a lion stalking its prey.

“No, Master, I was telling the girl to undress.”

“Sounds like a grand idea… get ‘em off Blondie and you… you can help her… do it… now!”

“Yes, Master,” Lucy bowed her head low and approached Rose, who shrank back from her, then jumped up and tried to make a run for the door. The Master caught her around the waist in his arms, chuckling.

“See, Lucy, it’s more exciting when they put up a fight!” He threw Rose across the room onto the slippery bed and nodded at Lucy. Lucy walked over to Rose, her face like thunder, and pulled at her clothes while Rose fought her off.

“No!” Rose said softly and firmly, but was ignored and she furiously batted at Lucy’s hands as she tried to do the Master’s bidding.

“Hit her!” he commanded and Lucy slapped Rose hard. This only infuriated Rose, who retaliated by standing and shoving Lucy hard. Lucy fell to the ground. The Master laughed out loud.

“Splendid, I am getting exactly what I had hoped for. You are a feisty one, Blondie, so refreshing after so many months of ‘yes, Master, no, Master, three bags full Master!’ Oh, I am going to enjoy this and will so love showing your boyfriend when he turns up and he will turn up when he finds out you’re here, won’t he, Wolf?” Rose stopped fighting off Lucy for a moment and stared at him.

“What?” He smiled triumphantly at the reaction he had got from her.

“Oh, I’m not just a pretty face you know, TARDIS are pretty easy to work when you know how. And this TARDIS seems to have a very strong link to you, doesn’t it?” Lucy pulled off Rose’s blouse, scattering buttons across the room. Rose began to fight her again, but the handcuffs were biting into her and the spheres now hovered above them, their unfriendly weapons, now unsheathed.

Lucy stood her and quickly, distastefully undressed her. Rose stopped fighting, trying to buy time for herself, realizing that this man would be excited by a struggle. Her shirt was ripped from her wrists in order to get it past the cuffs and the Master became irritated by her passiveness.

“Oh boo! That isn’t on! Come on, any companion of the Doctor’s wouldn’t just lie down and die!” He goaded, trying to get a rise from Rose as Lucy continued the assault on her clothes.

And, indeed, the fight in Rose couldn’t be contained, because as Lucy viciously tried to tear at her underwear, Rose began to fight in earnest. Lucy was thrown across the room several times before the Master, excited by Rose’s strength; whipped off his jacket and rolled up his sleeves.

He was rough with Rose, smacking her hard and quite obviously taking pleasure in the sound of his skin on hers. She whimpered at the feel of his cold fingers digging into her arms and the roughness of Lucy tugging at the scraps of material. Her head spun, she was trying to think. What would the Doctor do?

The Master’s eyes were dark and his breath was coming in short breaths as he slapped and beat her, ripping her underwear off her like paper.

Rose closed her eyes and braced herself for the ordeal that was to come.

And as she was pushed roughly to the ground, the strange child-like voice piped up.

“Master! Master! He has been spotted. He is come!” The assault on Rose stopped instantly and she opened her eyes to see what was going on.

“Really him?”

“Yes, Master and he is with the Captain and the Jones woman.”

“Excellent! Right, you two carry on, I will be back before long and I expect to see that things have moved along... a lot. Understand, Lucy?”

“Yes, Master," she bowed her head, all the hatred she held very evident in her face.

“Oh, this day is the best yet as Harold Saxon, can it get any better? Oh, I think it can!” He positively danced out of the room and Lucy turned to Rose, her face set like stone.

“Let me go!” Rose ordered her.

“My Master doesn’t wish it!”

“He will want only me, Lucy, if you let him. You will become nothing to him. I have more experience of what he is than you and that will take me higher in his esteem.” Rose appealed to what seemed to matter to her. Lucy’s eyebrows joined.

“He will be so angry with me!”

“And? For how long? This is the only thing you can do. Not for me, but for your relationship!”

“It wasn’t like this at first you know? He was kind and loving to me. Wanted to make a good impression on Daddy. Wanted to find himself a place of prospect, so that he could launch his political career. It all changed after we married.”

“He doesn’t need you now?”

“Oh, he needs me!” Lucy rounded on Rose, spittle flying from her mouth. 

“But not if I replace you here!” Rose glanced around the room; she knew she was running out of time. Lucy faltered.

“I can’t, I would displease him!”

“He will see you in a different light… he will have renewed respect for you… it will be better for you!”

“Really?”

“Yes, I promise… Lucy why do you let him treat you like this? You can’t be happy like this, surely?”

“I… love him. Besides, what he does to me? It’s exciting… I enjoy him doing it to me!”

“But will you enjoy him doing it to me?” Lucy thought for a moment and then slowly shook her head.

“Then let me go! Say I knocked you out, anything! Just get me my transporter and let me go before he comes back!”

“I can’t, can I?” Rose didn’t answer. Half of her was prepared to stay and suffer if it meant being reunited with the Doctor, but the other half knew what it would do to the Doctor if he found out what had happened to her. Her survival instinct was too strong to allow it.

Lucy crossed the room and pulled at the Master’s discarded jacket. Rose’s wrist band was in the pocket and Lucy held it in her hands thoughtfully for a moment then shrugged.

“The worst that he can do is kill me and sometimes I think I would welcome that!” She helped Rose with the strap, fastening it over her sore wrists and Rose smiled at her.

“You can change this if you want to. It can happen, even if you think it can’t. You just have to take control of your life!”

“What’s your name?”

“I’m not sure I should say.”

“Maybe once upon a time you and I could have been friends, but now I just want you out of the way!” Rose nodded, looked at her transporter and back at Lucy.

“Can you push that red button, please?” Lucy hesitated and then leaned forward and pressed the button. Lights flickered and Rose watched as her team locked on her signal, then all the lights stilled and she felt the familiar tugging sensation in her stomach.

“Tell him better luck next time and watch out for the Doctor, Lucy, he will soon sort him out!” Then Lucy’s face faded and Rose landed naked and cuffed on the floor in the middle of the Dimension Cannon. Pete ran forward, grabbing a blanket, relief and shock plastered across his face.


	7. Chapter 7

_Present Day._

Jackie looked across the table from one to the other. Rose sighed and looked out of the window with an impatient pout.

He looked miserable, haggard and thinner and sadly resigned to Rose’s request.

“You ain’t exactly helping though, Rose!” she tried to reprimand her daughter, but he was having none of it.

“Rose is fine, perfectly within her rights. She has had a great deal to deal with too… nobody could expect her to just turn about and change her direction and accept such an unbelievable change just like that!” He clicked his thumb and forefinger together. The noise disturbed Rose from her trance and she turned her eyes to him, studying his features sadly.

“Just while we're getting our bearings. The flat is so much smaller now?” she asked Jackie, a slight hint of desperation toning her voice.

“I was never gonna say no, was I? I just think you’re backtracking!”

“Probably not far enough!” mumbled Rose and then shook her head apologetically at him. “Sorry.” He took her hand briefly and squeezed it.

“I’ll have Esther make up your room and the blue room?” Rose nodded gratefully, extracting her hand from his grip and standing.

“Just gotta get our heads together,” said Rose and Jackie looked beseechingly at the Doctor. He shook his head very slightly at her. “Gonna take a shower,” said Rose and left leaving an aching gap between them.

“She isn’t adapting.”

“Jackie, we’ve only been back a couple of weeks, give her a chance!”

“But she loves you, why can’t she just accept it?”

“She’s been through far more than we could ever imagine, Jackie. Not for one moment did she ever expect to take up the mantle of this ordinary life.”

“Not so ordinary,” she sniffed and then caught his eye, “oh, alright, you win! Pretty ordinary by comparison!” She got up and put the kettle on.

“I think I could quite enjoy staying here for a while. It’s quite hard work sitting in long silences.” Jackie turned to him and hugged him where he was sitting in his chair.

“You poor boy, I wouldn’t blame you if you walked.”

“Oh, I’m prepared to work for her, she’s worth that much. If she really doesn’t want me, if I’m not good enough… well, that’s her wishes and I can only respect them, but I am prepared to try first.”

“You’re such a good man, always had her best interest at heart.”

“Always did and always will…”

 

_Two months before._

 

She landed with a grunt that echoed about the room and jumped up, wondering how accurate this time was.

Oh yes, it was the TARDIS alright, but something seemed oddly different. She reached into the corals nearby and stroked the strut. It rippled underneath her hand, but Rose could feel that something was wrong.

The smell in the air of blood and death and the faint hum of something familiar made her feel so scared.

She walked silently up the corridor, each footstep feeling heavier and heavier as she approached the bedrooms.

The huge heavy wooden door to his bedroom hung open and when she glanced inside, she saw him lying face down on the floor, he was still glowing a faint yellow and she could tell that whatever had happened to him had happened recently.

His trousers were slashed all over, as was his shirt, his jacket was in two parts on the floor nearby.

She was so scared as she approached the comatose body, but she had to see, had to bear witness.

She grabbed the cold figure under his arms and heaved him onto the bed, turning him as she did.

As soon as she set eyes upon the unfamiliar face she jumped back as if she had been burned.

Tears streamed down her face and her body wracked with silent sobs. She wasn’t prepared for this. Whatever had happened and whenever they were she just couldn’t. Shaking her head, she pressed the alarm on her straps and felt the familiar tug of pull-back.

As she began to disappear, she saw his tiny eyes flicker and even as she lay upon the floor sobbing back at the reality of Torchwood, the whisper of her own name still rang in her ears. Pete, on his knees, pulled his daughter onto his lap and rocked her as she sobbed violently in his arms.

 

_Two months later._

 

“He seems settled here,” said Jackie as they watched Pete and the Doctor outside playing football with Tony. Rose shrugged.

“Least he isn’t trying so hard. It’s just so irritating having this little lap dog at your feet all the time, trying to please you!”

“Oh, I feel for you, Rose, you poor thing!”

“Seriously, Mum, it’s like when Mickey was still pretending we were a couple and it was so bloody obvious we weren’t!”

“So you have no feeling regarding this man?” Rose looked at her mother and then hung her head.

“I don’t know, I mean he’s not him, you know? He’s a whole different man and I… I have feelings, yes. I just… I just cannot distinguish between fancying him, which, yes I do, and just settling for him because he has the same face.”

“Rose, he is him, can’t you see that? Oh, he’s changing every day, growing into his new skin, but he is still him and he loves you, he really loves you! Can’t you see what he has given up for you?”

“You speak like he had a choice!”

“He doesn’t have to stay and be humiliated like this!”

“Maybe he should just leave then!”

“Is that what you want?” Rose paused, staring into her mother’s face.

“I don’t know what I want! I wish… it’s so… I want the Doctor… him, like that, but with two hearts and the universe at our disposal! I want to go back in time as if none of this ever happened!”

“But, sweetheart, you know that’s impossible. Look what that man gave you. He gave you such a chance and you’re going to blow it!”

“It isn’t that easy, Mum! Every time I think that maybe I could give this a go, he’s there, in the back of my head, all alone across the void… how could I possibly betray him?” Tears filled her daughter’s eyes and Jackie pulled her into a hug that she had been holding off too long. 

Rose still felt stiff and unyielding despite this.


	8. Chapter 8

_Present Day._

“Hello, love... yeah… no… no… really… oh, can’t you?” He could hear every word Jackie spoke even though she believed she had lowered her tone. His heart beat heavily in his chest and his head thumped, “but Rose, how do I? Yeah… okay… I suppose… bye…” There was a long silence while Jackie obviously contained her anger and the Doctor remained at the kitchen table clasping his hands together.

Finally, Jackie bustled in with a forced smile fixed upon her face.

“Something came up after you left. Rose is gonna stay in town tonight,” she said breezily as she made herself busy unloading the dishwasher. He nodded, but made no comment which encouraged her to fill in the gaps. “Oh well, just you and me for the evening. Pete won’t be back till late; I’ll put the kettle on, shall I?” He got up and left the room without a word leaving poor Jackie blinking back tears.

He walked to up to the clinically hospitable bedroom he had been allocated and sat on the bed, face in hands.

It didn’t matter how hard he tried, she didn’t want him, was never going to accept him.

Every day he felt more and more like Mickey. In fact, he felt less than that. At least she was nice to Mickey. It seemed that every time he even opened his mouth she bubbled with anger and couldn’t bear to be near him. He barely seemed to speak now.

The only time there seemed to be a spark was when they were out on the field, when they were acting on their impulses and raw adrenalin.

 

_Two weeks earlier._

 

“Over there…” he mouthed across the wide corridor and she nodded imperceptibly and kept her back flat to the wall behind her.

He moved deftly and she followed taking step behind, but opposite him. There was no sound, but together they knew that their number was up. He moved across to her, hand held out and the whispered instruction wasn’t really necessary.

“Run!”

The creature was chasing them at great speed and she felt her legs might give out, but she concentrated on the lit doorway ahead of them. They flew through it and careered past the waiting agents strategically placed out there. It wasn’t until they had cleared these that they stopped and turned as the creature shot through in full flight. The laser’s shot into a circle and caught it, suspending it in mid-air. It was paralyzed, staring out at its captors with hollow blackened eyes.

Rose panted beside him, still clasping his hand. He turned to her and grinned broadly and she reciprocated at first, overwhelmed by the adventure. Then her expression changed, a cloud crossed her face and she snatched her hand away.

His smile was wiped from his lips as he watched her move quickly off towards her car. He followed the lights as she drove away, then eventually turned back to deal with their prisoner.

 

_One month before._

 

Rose watched Donna Noble’s life deteriorate. She knew from the timelines that this was wrong. Something had happened that had altered the path of her life.

The Doctor had drowned himself in this world. This was wrong. She had to fix it, had to find the exact moment when Donna had changed the course. It could be something simple, something as stupid as choosing a different door or a different pair of shoes. A different path.

She must have gone somewhere instead of where she should causing her not to meet the Doctor and the result being his demise. There was only one way to find out.

She had to get UNIT from this new parallel involved. They would have to co operate because without the Doctor they would be at a loss. They had had the TARDIS retrieved from under the Thames. She would have to instruct them on how to build a secondary dimension canon.

Donna Noble had to go back.

She went to back to Pete and explained her discovery. She had no choice and would be gone for some time. She needed Torchwood’s co operation and as much information as she could take.

He agreed, finally, reluctant that she should do any more jumps. But he knew they simply had no choice as he watched the stars flickering out of existence.

Persuading UNIT had been hard, but she had learnt from the best and she persevered. Eventually, they listened, scientists raising concerns about strange things happening in the distant skies.

They quizzed her about her identity and she kept herself anonymous. She didn’t want to create any more paradoxes and they seemed to respect this fact. They called her the woman with no name.

Once the cannon was built, she was eager to start the search. The weakened TARDIS, mourning her Time Lord tried to help her little wolf remembering what they had once shared.

The first time she found Donna, it was in the prime universe and she was with the Doctor. It was wrong, they needed to find a Donna prior to meeting him. Needed to see where it began, or where it didn’t.

Donna spoke to her, her happiness very apparent and Rose gave the signal for the pull back in confusion.

It took many jumps to find exactly where they needed to be, where Donna had made the wrong turn. In the end they worked out that Donna would have to experience the world she had created and the consequences of that mistake before she would agree that she had to alter her course.

Rose was patient and bided her time, waiting for poor Donna to decide.

Watching this alternative Donna die on the road had been so hard. She knew from the readings in the near-dormant TARDIS that this woman, whatever version, was very important. That everything seemed to converge on her.

She felt as if she was a friend and she had encouraged her death. It didn’t feel like they were saving all other universes, it felt as if she was the grim reaper.

As everything re-converged back to the way it should, Rose had a chance in the grateful TARDIS again. She was able to leave her Doctor a few messages. She hoped Donna would bring over the memory of her warning, but it was highly unlikely that she would remember very much at all.

Returning to Pete, she found out that her mission was successful and they were getting more accurate readings on him and Donna than they ever had.

The time had come to find him once and for all.

She donned the huge gun and nodded at Pete. And then she was gone.


	9. Chapter 9

_Present Day._

It was quite by chance that he happened upon the accident. He didn’t usually take that route, but for some strange reason, this time, he did.

It wasn’t a pretty sight. The first thing he saw was a leg, severed and dropped on the pavement in front of him. 

There was smoke everywhere and somebody was screaming.

He started to run towards the mass pile of bent metal that had once been a black London taxi cab, a white transit van and a small red car.

“Let me through, I’m a Doctor!” he shouted to the gathering crowd as he pulled off his jacket and got himself in amongst the wounded.

There were no police there yet, nor an ambulance, although he was assured they were on the way.

A couple of nurses fresh from night duty and still in uniform had stopped and he started to shout instructions to them. His heart pumped fast as he worked upon the injured and dying.

“Doctor! Over here!” called one of the nurses, a young girl, probably in her first year of training. The Doctor got up from the dead driver of the taxi and strode over to the upturned car.

A small child was scrunched underneath the passenger seat. A thin trickle of blood came from her ear and her eyes were wide open and staring, unseeing.

The Doctor squeezed himself into the small space and spoke softly to her.

“It’s okay, I’m here to help… don’t be alarmed… you’re going to be okay…” He placed his fingers gently upon her temples and closed his eyes.

“Doctor?” quizzed the nurse, looking completely mystified by his actions. He ignored her and continued his exploration inside the little girls head.

The sound of sirens didn’t stop him as he located the bleed inside and began to repair it.

As quickly as he had done this, the little girl took a deep inward breath and her eyes fluttered shut. The Doctor stroked her forehead and then extricated himself from the cramped car.

“Any more?” he asked the nurse, who stood open-mouthed. He didn’t wait for an answer. There had been a group of people waiting for a bus and the injuries were aplenty.

Police were pushing back a growing crowd of spectators and paramedics were working side by side with him.

The Doctor knew how crucial this was, lives were hanging in the balance, but it didn’t stop him reflecting how being involved in this made him feel.

He was more alive than he had ever been in this human body. He had something to offer. And it meant something. Something real.

The little girl came to as the firemen lifted her from the wrecked car. “Doctor?” she called out almost blindly.

“I’m here, Clare, it's okay… you’re safe!” He was by her side in an instant and the ambulance crew suggested that he travel to hospital with her.

She held his hand all the way, but asked no questions. He had managed to induce a chemical within her that would numb the shock. She was peaceful and pain free and, more importantly, she was now going to live.

The Doctor was at a loss when he got there. The girl, Clare, was taken into casualty and he followed along on a wave of people and panic.

It was a couple of hours later that a surgeon approached him and introduced himself. “Quite brilliant, whatever it was you did… never seen anything quite like it… we can see the repairs on the scans… I mean... may I… how?”

“I learnt somewhere far away… sorry; it was on the spur… I couldn’t possibly tell… it’s not as simple as all that?”

“Can I ask your name at least?”

“Doc… Doctor John Smith… how do you do?” The two men shook hands and the other, Oscar, began to smile,

“Well, John Smith… I don’t suppose you’re on the lookout for a position? No. Could use something different… a new kind of expertise… Look, I’m just going off duty… fancy a pint?”

And that was how he began to make new friends. He went for a drink and met a large proportion of Oscar’s friends and colleagues. The Doctor was beginning to walk his own path.

 

_Two days later._

 

“I heard what you did.” She was standing at his desk when he walked in; he stopped and stared at her, sad brown eyes meeting sad brown eyes.

“Well, anyone else would have done the same…” he dismissed it and continued into the little office.

“Still was good… hear you’ve been back a few times as well?”

“Yes. That okay?”

“Course… none of my business… Mum says you haven’t been back home for a few nights?”

“Not my home, Rose, and I’m sure your father has kept you informed as to where I am… I took one of the Torchwood residentials until I find somewhere… bigger…” Rose’s eyes narrowed briefly and then she nodded sullenly.

“Don’t know why you’re being so tetchy…” she muttered. He felt the anger rising in his veins, but he chose to say nothing. If Rose felt like he was walking away and was upset by it, then she needed to understand herself, not him. “I thought you liked it at the Mansion?”

“I liked the idea of it… but you can only take so much of your mother’s pity.”

“Pity?”

“Rose, I’m not doing this, not like this. If you need me, you know exactly where to find me. I’ll always be there for you. But I’m not going to quarrel with you simply because you feel guilty about it all.”

“Don’t flatter yourself… always playing the hard done by rejected bloke and behind all their backs supping pints and enjoying life!”

“Rose… I’m just trying to build a life for myself as you so obviously don’t want me in yours… are you spying on me now?”

“Spying! I’m Torchwood, Doctor, don’t forget it!”

“That’s why I’m considering leaving, Rose… I don’t think I can compete with it… don’t think I want to!”

“What?”

“I don’t want to work at Torchwood… I never did!” Rose looked at him incredulously.

“What the hell else are you gonna do? Aliens are your thing!”

“I have many strings to my bow, Rose. I really don’t need this and I certainly have never felt comfortable with anything Torchwood!”

“You’re so ungrateful… after everything that we’ve… I don’t understand!”

“Well then, that makes two of us… is that all?”

“What?”

“Well, I have lots to do… got to type up that report from the other day… I need to get on… some of us have to earn their rent.” He didn’t feel proud of himself, but she had pushed him to the brink. If she poked much more, he knew he would burst.

Her face was grey and cold and she closed the door firmly as she left it.

The Doctor slumped down into his chair and placed his face in his hands.

Life on the slow path was just as lonely and painful as the other way.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _As I said at the beginning of this tale, it is a prequel to 'I Remember Everything', which is on this site if you want to find out what happens._

_Five months afterwards._

 

The Lokasenna had been watching them for a while. The male would be a prize to take back. Alive would be best; he had such an air about him. Their equipment hadn’t been able to quite pinpoint him. But everything seemed a little on the blink these days. They should have gone home awhile back, but his scent was far too appealing.

If the girl had to be taken too, they could use her for supplements during their return flight or for recreation… and if she survived the latter they could flog her at the slavery and have a night out on the credits.

They practiced for weeks, getting the looks for their human identities just as she would like. She would be the bait, that was obvious.

The drug they would give her was standard on Lokasennia and they soon managed to get a filter attached to it, so that it would be undetectable.

Their plan was ready to put into action. Target : Rose Tyler. Aim : The Doctor.

 

_Five months and two weeks afterwards._

 

He wasn’t used to staying in, but Torchwood had grown less and less appealing as time went on and Rose grew ever distant. The room wasn’t exactly comfortable. But, he had been spot on about Jackie’s pity. He knew her heart was all there, but it didn’t matter. Not without Rose.

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. He jumped out of his skin. It was very late.

She swayed in the door way and gave him a false smile that didn’t match her unfocussed eyes.

“Was jus’ passin’” she slurred and he let her pass as he tried to push her way in.

“Why are you here, Rose?”

“Ain’t ya pleased to see me? Thought you was nuts about me… suddenly too good for me now you’ve got your hospital crowd to run about with?”

“Rose… I...”

“What? Don’t like me no more? Thought you was always gonna be here for me, that’s what you said!” She moved towards him swaying in what she thought was a seductive manner, but it was far from it.

“Don’t, Rose… you’ll regret this in the morning…” She crashed into him, locking her lips to his, pushing her body against him, her tongue searching for his.

His body wanted her, but his head knew that she was in turmoil and this was merely her attempt at trying to understand her feelings. He withdrew her hands from around his neck and firmly moved back.

The strength she had against him, matched the fight he was having against himself. This was the woman he loved. Drunk or not.

“You saying no, then, Doctor? Really, you don’t want me? Why did you say you did, then?”

“I do Rose, I always will… but not like this, not ever like this.” Rose moved quickly to the door, flung it open without a backwards glance.

He watched her from the window, saw the black taxi pull up and breathed out loudly. She may not even remember the confrontation by morning. He sat back down and relived the messy, forced kiss over and over again. 

********

She was swaying, she knew it, but she had to get away, quickly. He had pushed her away. She was so confused and angry. The wine had been for the courage, but it had got out of hand. He was moving away from her. Fed up of her not believing in him. Making new friends. Better than her.

She had to get away. She knew he would be watching to make sure she was safe. Or maybe he didn’t care enough anymore?

She saw the shape of a taxi and hailed it gratefully, but there was someone inside it.

He had a nice face, familiar, sexy.

“Miss… please allow me to let you share… I couldn’t see a damsel out in the dark when there is plenty of room in here…” He had a sultry Scottish accent that seemed to lick at Rose’s miserable and rejected insides. She hesitated and then briefly looked up to the window where the silhouette of the Doctor stood watching her. She was in the car within moments.

“Thank you… I’m sorry… you’ve caught me a little the worse the wear for a bottle of wine… I was visiting with… a friend and we had a row.”

“Ah… the ways of the heart… such as it is… one per cent happiness… the rest? Alas! It’s Rose Tyler, isn’t it? Vitex?”

“Yes, and you, you seem very familiar… do I know you?”

“I don’t believe we’ve met, but I have to admit to being a little well known myself… I’m an actor… David MacDonald?”

“Oh yeah… you were in that sci-fi thing, weren’t you?”

“Among other things, yes…”

“Yes, I liked it… a little far-fetched, but very watchable!”

“Thanks, I think! Listen, I was just off to dine at my…. club… a little presumptuous, but would you care to join me? I could get my steward to brew a batch of strong coffee… I’ve a good ear?” Rose hesitated, but the brown eyes seemed to burn into her and she found herself unable to decline.

As the taxi sped to a destination she was unsure of, she reflected on herself. Would she always travel to the unknown with complete strangers at the drop of a hat?

 

********

The next morning, the Doctor found himself sitting outside the director of the hospital's office. His heart was heavy, but he knew that this was the only choice he had left. He had to put distance between himself and Rose. He had to forge a new life. If she worked it out and still wanted him, then that would be fine.

He was used to being on his own. Why should he have expected anything more? The director's door opened.

“John?”

“Russell!” They shook hands warmly and then Russell ushered him in where they had a brief discussion and where the Doctor left one sad and destructive path and moved onto a new, and hopefully, happier one.

One that, for now, didn’t include the love of his life...


End file.
